My sister and I have an estranged relationship.
A few people know the extent of our relationship, & why I cut ties with her many years ago. I don’t have her phone number. She wasn’t invited to my wedding. Sometimes it’s necessary to unfollow people in real life. Yes, even family, when they’re toxic to your well being.
The above quote came from her mouth. I was in college when she said this to me, training for a half marathon, & I was in the thick of disordered eating & a horrible relationship with food & exercise.
Don’t get me wrong- this is something I said to myself COUNTLESS times, but to hear it out loud from someone I had no respect for, or anyone for that matter… stung. And clearly stuck with me.
This certainly wasn’t the first (or last) hurtful thing she’d said to me, especially about my body & appearance.
But sometimes all it takes is one comment.
And I know from talking to other women about similar instances that many of us experience one comment (or more) that sticks with us. That stays in the back of our mind, makes us second guess our intentions, makes us feel less-than, not worthy or good enough. Like we need to try harder, do more, be more.
Maybe you’ve experienced something similar. Yours might have been much more well-intended than mine. You might not have even realized the impact it had on you until later on. If you want to share with me, send me a DM, I’d love to talk about it with you.
Our language matters. The way we speak to ourselves & others, it matters. Words stick to our brain & have a major impact on the actions we take & the love we hold. Be mindful of the way you speak to yourself & others. Even well-intended comments can often do more harm than good. Think before you speak.
Also, you are enough. Just as you are right this moment.
I feel I should note that my sister has come A LONG WAY since this time of our lives. She’s done a lot of work on herself & has tried to make amends with me. I’m stubborn & protective, & I’m not ready to let her in. I don’t know that I’ll ever be ready. These things are complicated.