My story with cake.
Yesterday i ate a cake.
I ate a piece mindfully.
I did not lose an eye nor a tooth. I still breathe normally. The cake did not kill me. Actually, I enjoyed every piece of it. I ate it mindfully & did not feel guilty about it.
I’m a healthy eater, I avoid processed food, I don’t love fried food at all, haven’t had McDonald’s since 8 years but I enjoy a fat burger every now & then.
I am human. I crave stuff sometimes. A not so long time ago, I would never come across any piece of cake. I would think about it so much before eating it. Imagining the loads of sugar in it. I’ll also go back home, beating myself up for not eating that cake. Then I’ll go on and miss it. I sometimes would feel angry with myself for not enjoying something I wanted. I was like that for a long time until people around me gave in and took it as a status quo.
Yesterday, I cut a piece of cake, removed the icing and enjoyed the cake bite after bite. I could see how people around me took a deep 3 second freeze, my mom, my aunt, my sister and watched me eat that cake. That’s something they’re not used to seeing with me for a really long time. There was an awkward silence that I broke when I said “Walla Khafeef Hal Cake”. What changed you may ask. Well, nothing. I have taken the time I needed to realize that I am more than my body, my stomach, what I eat, the food choices, the details of the food. I have taken the time I needed to realize that breaks sometimes are awesome & cool. Rewarding yourself is actually something you have to master and you can only enjoy rewarding yourself in moderation. Does this make me a hypocrite? Did this piece of cake remove the healthy out of me? No. Healthy means applying the 80/20 rule or 70/30 or even 60/40. Meaning the most part of your time you make healthy choices and the remaining time you indulge in simply human.
Road to recovery is not only 3 months, 6 months, 1 month or a year. It is indefinite, you recover when you become aware. And awareness takes different routes from one person to other.